Sadly, many marriages fail to survive a cuckold adventure. There are myriad reasons for this – the marriage was already weak, the couple never really planned anything, they picked the wrong guy for her to sleep with, and more – but the inescapable truth is that your marriage may not make it to the other side of cuckolding.

That being said, many marriages have thrived with a hotwife/cuckold arrangement. When it works well, everyone gets what they want and often more than they imagined was possible. My goal in this article is to help you and your partner decide if you have the kind of marriage that can thrive when cuckolding is introduced.

First Things First: Is Your Marriage Healthy and Happy?

Spend a little time in the world of alternative sexual lifestyles (cuckolding, hotwifing, swinging, BDSM play of all kinds, etc) and you discover that they’re almost never the solution to a marriage that’s already on the rocks. In fact, chances are good that if you’re marriage is struggling, introducing cuckolding is a surefire way to blow it up.

Under the best of circumstances, introducing a new sexual partner to your relationship adds an element of chaos. Having sex with a new person will have emotional and likely physical repercussions, and if there’s resentment built up between the married couple, those repercussions and that chaos will be like a giant wedge that falls between the two of you and inexorably pushes you apart.

Every cuckold experiences jealousy. It’s a natural and oftentimes enthralling part of the experience. However, if your marriage is struggling that jealousy may tear you apart instead of bringing you closer. It can be difficult to honestly assess the state of your marriage, but if you actually direct your brain to do so, it should come easily. Do you feel resentment towards your partner with any sort of frequency? Do you blame them for any unhappiness you feel?

If your biggest problem is that your sex life has gotten stale or that you both feel unsatisfied with the action in the bedroom, cuckolding may be the right answer for you. If you have years of unanswered resentments and frustrations built up, cuckolding will likely tear your marriage apart.

Emotional Consequences of Cuckolding

This is real, and something too few couples consider before jumping into cuckolding. There is almost always an emotional component to it, and it can be destructive. How you manage your reaction to that, as a couple and as individuals, can go a long way towards determining if your marriage will survive a new sexual lifestyle.

For Men – There are many elements that make cuckolding arousing for men. For each guy that’s into being cuckolded it’s generally a different combination that brings him pleasure. Some enjoy a sense of humiliation or being overtly and sometimes cruelly humiliated by their wife and her lover. Some find pleasure in seeing their wives pleasured. Some enjoy the anxiety that comes with knowing another man is fucking their wife, and hopefully doing it better. Some get intensely jealous.

What’s often most problematic for men into cuckolding is the deeply held societal programming that says a woman is supposed to be faithful to her husband. Though we’re in a time of great change with regards to the sexes, it is still seen as deeply humiliating for a man when his wife sleeps with someone else. Even if a married man finds that humiliation pleasurable or badly wants his wife to sleep with other men even if it’s not humiliating, the programming that lives in his subconscious may torture him and lead to emotional outbursts.

For Women – Some married women that venture into cuckolding with their husbands feel a great sense of guilt. This tends to come from the same type of societal programming that puts a great deal of pressure on women to be good wives and mothers, which typically includes being faithful. Even if her husband loves the idea of being a cuckold and watching or hearing about her sleeping with other men, the guilt may be impossible for a wife to avoid.

In a cuckold marriage, the woman is having sex with other men and is therefore almost certain to develop emotional attachments to those men. This is typically the most dangerous part of the lifestyle. It is most common when she has sex with the same man over the course of several weeks or months. During sex, hormones are released that effectively bond you to the person that’s making you climax. They’re almost impossible to ignore, so the effect will be felt.

This is the biggest risk factor to any cuckolding marriage. If the wife is not receiving emotional support and feeling loved by her husband, there’s a very good chance she’ll leave him for one of the new men she’s sleeping with. That’s why it’s of the utmost importance to make sure you have a strong marriage before you jump into cuckolding.

Fantasy is Different than Reality

Admittedly, this is largely for the men out there, but it’s an important point. Chances are good that the cuckolding fantasies you’ve been having for years won’t match up to reality. The sex your wife has with another man might be bad the first time out. She might not be willing to indulge in the specific dirty talk you desire. Maybe she’ll never be willing to have unprotected sex with someone.

You need to consider what sort of cuckolding pleasures it will take to make you happy. If it’s a very specific and kinky fantasy, check with her first before you jump into the deep end. It’s entirely possible your wife will be on board for doing anything and everything you desire.

Communication is Key in a Cuckolding Marriage

Good communication is the key to making any marriage work, but it’s especially important if you’re going to get into cuckolding. If something is making you uncomfortable, you need to be clear about it. Nothing will destroy this type of relationship faster than a bad experience where one of you feels like you weren’t protected.

You can practice your communication skills by sharing your fantasies with each other, because communicating is about more than talking. It’s about hearing what your partner is saying, understanding what they’re saying, and accepting what they’re saying. It’s about being open and welcoming and empathetic. So before you dive into the world of real cuckolding, try a bit of sharing in the bedroom and see how that goes.

If you’re curious about cuckolding or want to dip your toe into the fantasy, check out my Patreon page. It’s stuffed with cuckold stories, blog posts, captions, and much more. Become a supporter and you get access to it all.

Want more? Take a second to support Becca Bellamy on Patreon!

16 Replies to “Is Cuckolding Right for Your Marriage?”

  1. Your writing is awesome! Please don’t stop. How about some cruel stories where the wife doesn’t allow the husband to watch? Or making him kneel patiently outside their bedroom door listening to the sounds of her having sex with her bull. I actually experienced that a few times – so many mixed emotions of jealousy, humiliation, arousal – crazy roller coaster ride and would love to do it again.

    1. Was you having to wait outside a mutual decision or one that your wife expressly made in a dominant capacity?

      It sounds as if you are not new to cuckolding. We have discussed it and my wife is certainly up for it. However we don’t know what the next steps are.

      Of paramount importance to us both is that we feel safe and in control.

  2. Yes cuckoldig is for our marriage. Chastity and denial gives me lust and desire to do all for my wife. Sucking penis I don’t like much, but I do that for my loving wife. It makes me feel even more submissive.

  3. Cuckolding is for our marriage, but not typical, as the stories on net. My penis is small and can’t satisfy her, so i said yes to cuckolding. I’m submissive to her, but not for him.
    The fact that he is fucking my wife had enough humiliation to any other humiliation is not necessary.
    I do not want her Bull in my house or in my bed. Marriage bed is for a husband and wife that is sacred. The bull does not really care about my feelings. My wife has to take care of them and keep Bull on the line. Our rules are:
    1. Wife can have sex with her Bull when she wants during working days. Every night a wife must be in her marriage bed with husband.
    2. Weekends can only be combined with a Bull and a husband.
    3. Wife sleeps in the same bed with a Bull and her husband.
    Wife develop some emotional attachments to Bull. This is normal. But if there is no balance between Bull and husband, marriage will not last long. In marriages that broke down the wife and Bull, as usually jointly humiliated the husband until his breakup.
    I do not like to watch how, Bull fucking my wife. I like to participate in creating satisfaction for her. To lick her pussy and prepare her for his cock, to lick her clit during penetration. To finish her (to bring her to orgasm, by my tongue) when Bull cum. Then I have a little pleasure that I participated in my wife’s satisfaction.
    I do not like the wife ignoring me, during the weekend with a Bull.
    She did it at the beginning, but we corrected it. Let’s hug with me and sometimes we kiss. Same thing of course she do with Bull.
    I do not have fear that a mz wife will leave me.
    Everyone has to have a part of the satisfaction that the Cuckolding marriage will succeed.

  4. I see that you are active on Twitter. This means that you saw my comments.You don’t like different opinion on CM?

  5. Cuckold is for our marriage. First I’d like to thank Becca for this blog. Articles is essence of cuckold marriage. Asking the right questions.
    I personally think that every woman deserves a big cock and great sex.
    I married young. Now after 10 years of marriage, I have two children, I 35 years old and finally have great sex and good marriage.
    My husband has a small penis (4.5 inches long and 4 girth). Even worse than a small penis is his sexual ability of a minute or two maximum (one minute is more often).
    My husband developed a great licking technique. that somewhat compensated his little penis and his inadequacy.
    He was a great husband and father, but I was increasingly missing great sex and a big penis that will fill my vagina completely. I was thinking about divorce, and then I read somewhere about the cuckold marriage. Immediately I thought it would be good for my marriage.
    I told my husband that I wanted to be in a cuckold marriage. He just looked at me and did not say anything. I knew that he would think about that for a few days. A week later, he told me that he wanted to talk about cuckold marriage.
    “I know that I have a small penis to I cum fast and that I can not satisfy you during sex. I thought that oral sex is enough for you, but it is obvious that it is not. I was thinking about a divorce like you. I looked at the video about the cuckold marriage, reading about it. Maybe it could save our marriage with certain rules ”
    “What rules do you want? I asked.
    “First, you can fuck as much as you like during a working week. I want to you and me spend the weekend with family without bulls or boyfriends.
    Other. Every night I want you in my bed just for myself. After sex with a bull you wash all his fluid and scent, from you, come home to my bed.
    Third. Sex with a bull just in a motel, not in our house and bed.
    Fourth. I do not want to watch.
    Fifth. If you get pregnant, abortion or divorce
    Sixth. You will sign a marriage contract. If you ask for a divorce, you will not get anything.”
    “Everything is acceptable to me except sixth”, I said
    “Ok. Then we’ll divorce immediately. I’m going to take a ride. If the marriage contract is not signed when I return, then we live as we do, or we are divorced” he said.
    I knew he was serious and that he loved me more than anything. In spite of this, he would launch a divorce, no matter how emotionally bothering him. He’s from a wealthy family. A year is older than me, his father is 60 years old, his mother is 55 years old. All property goes to father, my husband actually has nothing. he would have inherited property only if his father died.
    What would I do if I was in his place? I’d cut his balls off. I signed a contract.
    When he returned, he looked at the contract. “Wonderful,” he said, he put contract in security deal, went to the bedroom. I saw tension in his eyes and I knew he had not yet fully accepted the new situation.
    I was gentle to him, but I was looking for a bull.
    I was fucking with 11 men. The twelfth was just acceptable. In the beginning, we were seen 4 to 5 times a week, and then it was reduced to three times a week, which was enough for me.
    Bull’s penis was 8.5 inches long and 5.5 inches girth. A bull who was 25 years old could have been fucking an entire hour. Half an hour is enough for me. My vagina can not stand for more than half an hour with such a huge penis. That half-hour is fantastic.
    My husband was pleased when I finally found the bull. The marriage made us better. He tried harder. We had oral sex five times a week and sometimes penetrative sex.
    We talked a lot about everything. The bull was from a lower social class. We did not have common points other than sex. Nevertheless, we have developed some kind of intimate relationship.

  6. I want to know how to guide my wife to accept the idea of cockold. Do you have detailed steps? How should I go on trial and guidance step by step?

    1. I’m going to be writing more about this in the near future. Unfortunately, there isn’t a step-by-step guide that works for every couple because every couple is different. I will try and expand on that in the writing coming up in the next month.

      1. Great! Looking forward to this. (I really like your work, by the way. You deeply understand the fetish and you write great books + provide mind-blowing content via your Patreon blog)

  7. Me And My wife have been mairred for five years, i am 37yo and Cindy is 27. We stared off in a cuckold relationship while we were dating. Over the course of two years, Cindy got me used to and trained in logn term chastity, 24/7.

    Cindy and I got mairred and agreed that i wll be denied orgasms, no sex with my wife Cindy. I lusted watching my wife get fucked on our honeymoon by five male friends, and i used a sheeth strap on dildo. I lost count of the number of orgasms =indy had, whiled i looked on and lusted. It seemed the more i lusted, the more orgasms my wife had, longer and more powerfull orgasms to.

    Cindy has had four children, by different men. She is pregnant from a college student she just fucked once, and never knew is name..

    My wife and i agreed that our select friends should know i am a cuckold. We also agreed that i would be humiliated, slaped, spit in face, verbal put down, and me getting on all fours like a dog, barking, rulling on my back and me shaking my leg while my wife scratched my belly.

    I am proud that cuckolding is taking be down the rabit whole, my wife has little or no respect for me, neither does my friend who fuck my wife while i watch with lust and no orgasms.

    Cindy does not love me any more. She keeps me as a to get off as a cheating wife. I am willing to be were i am at.

    Communication is the KEY for cuckolding mairage. I was willing, AND seeking out such a wife and life for myself.

    1. Wow totally understand your very own situation, I too did sort of the same thing since first ( long story short ) I got cuckolded ever since I was in school by pretty much every gf I’ve have had. Honestly & thank god I’ve hot myself some of not the best gals from school and cutest gals as young adult but since o saw them flirting and getting dtf with friends at school… I was hooked at the humilliating thought of my gf being fucked by another male that knew what to do with such gorgous female body, something I’ve had not clue how to pleasure a woman at all. That being said
      Many times after living with my gf’s I did asked them while having sex to sleep with other more adecuate males.. Friends or strangers they never allowed me to watch even tho they didn’t seem to like the idea, their eyes said otherwise… Oh boy they both enjoy it. So did I and best of all, I never stopped being a JO sissy to them, just like you they humiliated me so good, denied sex, friends, ex boss, strangers got her but me, she wont reply or answer her cell and I knew she was in good hands & being fucked… Yeah she got attached to the stud some time was his only. But got back at me until next boyfriend and so on.
      Until they’ve finally find the one that truly makes them fall in love & dump me.
      So it happens couple times.
      I get it…. If am not capable of deliver her good sex needless to say orgasms she should be allowed to have them her way. I once was very active sexually & she denied sex to me, it was bad to have the urges & not being able to release an orgasm. So I said to myself to never have someone go thru that pain of neglecting her pleasure to orgasm.

  8. My wife understands my cuckold fantasy but she told me that for her, it’s out of the question that she would ever fuck a man that she doesn’t love. And that if she loves another man enough to fuck him, that would very probably mean the end of our marriage. So in her mind, cuckolding means the end of the marriage.
    How could I ever make her think differently?

    1. It’s quite possible you won’t be able to convince her to cuckold you. Some women (I’d say most, to be honest) aren’t into it. Perhaps she’d be willing to role play a little. Maybe she fucks a toy and talks about it being someone else’s cock to at least give you a taste of the fantasy.

  9. I guess my wife and I have a “different” type of cuckold marriage. I suffer from ‘performance anxiety’ developed long after we were married. The reasons behind it are far too long to explain, but after awhile, I thought it was not fair to my wife to have this portion of her ignored. I especially did not like the idea of her one day looking back and wondering what she missed. I finally offered her sexual freedom, if she wanted it. After a few months and some very pointed questions from her, she thanked me and accepted it. So what is the main difference? She prefers privacy, which is also fine with me. I do not participate, watch or even hear all the details. If she is meeting her lover at a hotel, she will text me when she arrives, if she is staying the night and when she leaves. Other than that I do not hear from her unless there is some type on emergency on her end or mine. When she gets home, I kiss her very lovingly and ask her if she had a good time. With only one exception her answer has always been yes. Every now and then she will make a comment, like patting me on the crotch and say something like, “He was bigger” or “I need to shower. He cums so much and so hard.”
    I am not sure what category we would fall into, but I am happy that she is getting the sex she needs. In one of our long conversations, I mentioned to her that I honestly believed I am the best husband for the wife. Just not the best lover for the woman. She agrees.

    1. I tend to think that the categories aren’t really necessary. The truth is, every cuckold marriage is different and it doesn’t really matter how you categorize it. What matters is that you’re both happy. That’s really the only thing that matters, because as long as you’re both happy your marriage stands a good chance at lasting a long, long time.

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