In a typical cuckold fantasy it’s exceedingly easy to find a man to fuck your wife. She’s hot and any guy would kill for a chance to fill her pussy, right? Instinctively, that seems spot on, but in the real world it turns out it can be far more difficult than you might imagine to find the right man for the job. I’m going to go over some of the reasons why that’s the case and help you find a perfect man to meet her needs and yours.

(If you want to fan the flames of your cuckold fantasy, then visit my Patreon page for hundreds of stories, captions, audio files, and more)

Talk About What You Want

One of the reasons so many couples run into trouble is they don’t really know what they want. Sometimes the husband and wife disagree on the perfect man to fuck her, and sometimes they haven’t really talked about it at all and they end up with a total dud, or a man that gets way too aggressive and dominant when they’re looking for nothing more than a stunt cock.

The best way to talk about what you want is to do it in a fantasy context. Engage in a mutual masturbation session and talk dirty about your cuckolding fantasies, which should be shared at this point. Tell each other what you crave in a bull or boyfriend. Do it often, and soon enough a picture will take shape that will guide you to the man of your shared dreams.

You can also sit and have an honest conversation outside of the bedroom and your fantasies. You should absolutely do this before you try and find someone, but I always think it’s worth doing it in a naughty, sexual manner too because that’s just so much fun.

The Many Ways Potential Bulls/Boyfriends Will Disappoint You

You’re almost certainly going to experience some sort of disappointment and/or letdown in your search for a bull/boyfriend. If you take your time with the process those disappointments will end up happening via emails and texts, not when you’re in the bedroom or in the middle of a sexual encounter.

First let’s talk about the way guys can disappoint you when you’re actually in the room and ready to have some good sex:

  • Performance issues – This one is shockingly common and happens most frequently when the husband is in the room watching. Some men just aren’t comfortable having sex with an audience. Some guys turn out to be less comfortable fucking another man’s wife too. What’s often so odd is that some guys aren’t into the notion of having sex with a married woman when her husband is totally into it, even if he’s not in the room watching.
  • Flaking out – Guys just don’t show up sometimes. Even if they were great in emails, texts, and phone calls, they just don’t come at the appointed time. There are a host of reasons this happens, but it’s usually a blessing. If he doesn’t show up and didn’t call to let you know why, he’s not worth being with.
  • Too rough/dominant – Sometimes a bull/boyfriend will go way over the top with his dominance. He’ll pull hair, smack her ass, and get rough when she has no interest in it. This is not a good thing. A good bull/boyfriend strives to understand what a couple wants from him and delivers it.
  • His cock is not as advertised – This one always strikes me as insane, but some guys are more than happy to lie about the size of their cock. I guess they assume that you’ll just go for it once you’re in the room and they’ll get laid. Don’t. Kick his ass out and go find someone else. Unless you like the look of his cock. In which case, go ahead and have some fun.
  • He cums too quickly – This one is tough, because some guys will cum quickly their first time with a woman because it’s really exciting. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ever see him again, but you’re free to kick him to the curb if it happens and you’re not happy. It’s worth sticking around until he can get hard again though. If he cums super quick the second time around you know he’s not worth your time.

Most of the time the guys will disappoint you before you ever get to a face to face meeting. You need patience to find the right guy for you (usually, at least; some couples find the right guy the first time out). Here are some of the ways a potential bull/boyfriend will disappoint you via email/text/phone calls.

  • Picture collecting – Some guys get off on convincing you to send them a naked or naughty picture with no intention of being your bull/boyfriend. For this reason I prefer using dating sites where you post a picture in your profile and that should be enough for prospective guys. If a potential date is too pushy about getting your picture, stop messaging him.
  • The “hey” or “what’s up” guys – I will never understand the deluge of guys that will send a message that consists entirely of “hey” or “what’s up” or some other worthless variation. Do those guys think I’m going to respond to that? Do they think that’s good enough? If a man isn’t willing to put in enough effort to write out a few sentences in an email, he’s not going to be anywhere near good enough for you.
  • Cyber sexers – Some men have no intention of getting off their couches or out of their desk chairs. They just want to masturbate to a fantasy. Generally they’ll push you for details on what you’d do together or ask for more pictures. You can safely ignore those guys.
  • Married guys that are cheating – This can be hard to suss out, but at some point it usually becomes obvious that you’re talking to a married guy that’s fucking behind his wife’s back. He’ll be short on any sort of personal information, really shy about sharing a face picture, and cagey about meeting in a place that’s too public. Always check the ring finger. Longtime wedding ring wearers will typically have a little bit of a mark there.
  • Time wasters – Some guys just get off on playing the role of a man that fucks married women. They’ll mostly want to chat endlessly, send emails, and maybe get into naughty texting. That can be fun, so you’re welcome to pursue it, but it’s not going to end up with the sex you crave, so feel free to cut the cord when it becomes obvious he’s not really interested in meeting up.

Tips for Finding the Right Bull/Boyfriend for You

There’s no guaranteed way to do this. Ultimately, you have to find what works for you as a couple. I can give you a few pointers on how to make it easier though.

  • Where to Search Online – I’ve found that swingers personals sites are the best place to start. and are both great and filled with real people, unlike most adult dating sites (which are usually filled with fake profiles and desperate men). There are lots of married guys that have complete sexual freedom and are allowed to fuck without their wife around. There are single guys that want to play with couples too, so you have lots of options. is a kink-focused social network and a great place to build relationships, but it can take more time to find a guy.
  • Experience is Better – If it’s your first time being with another man it’s best to go with someone that has plenty of experience in the field. He’ll know how to read the both of you and deliver a pleasurable experience.
  • Find Someone that Knows About Cuckolding – If you’re playing as a cuckold couple you need a guy that knows all about the world of cuckolding. You need him to know that your husband’s needs must be met along with yours. Ultimately, a cuckold relationship involves the husband, wife, and the man you’ve brought into your bedroom.
  • Be Clear About What You Want – It’s possible you won’t really know what you want, but you should try your best to figure it out as a couple before you search for a bull/boyfriend. If you can explain what you’re looking for, it’s infinitely easier to find a guy that meets your needs and will deliver an experience that pleases both husband and wife. It can be as simple as wanting a big cock that can last a long time or a little more complicated, like a dominant bull that will make you both submit without pushing your limits too far. There’s a guy for every couple, so as long as you’re clear you’ll be able to find him. It’s also possible to message and chat with lots of guys before you decide what you really want.
  • Meet in Public First – It’s always smart, especially when you’re starting out, to meet with a potential bull/boyfriend in a public place before you even consider making him a sexual partner. A coffee place is simplest since there’s no commitment to staying for a long time. The meeting is meant to confirm he’s been honest about his age/looks/general fitness level and to make sure he doesn’t come off as a psycho in person. If you like what you see you can then make a date for sex.

I hope this helped. If you have any more questions, feel free to leave them in the comments.

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14 Replies to “The Challenges of Finding a Bull/Boyfriend for Your Hotwife”

  1. I know how hard all match. My wife loves young endowed Bulls. They very often for the first time scum very quickly. I suck their penis at the beginning of the session.
    -Shoot all the cum in his mouth, honey, after that we fuck slowly and hard-said my wife.
    After about 15 minutes they get another erection and my wife enjoys big penis.

  2. There are differences when cuckolding his idea and when cuckolding her idea. I guess it all goes much easier when cuckolding his idea.
    We started with a chastity belt and and after time I yearned for a real big penis. My husband who has a very small penis who can’t satisfy me had no mind to I fuck with another man.
    He didn’t have anything against to I and my Bull do it alone. We were able to do it alone my Bull and I, or to he participate with as, to licks my vagina and prepare for the bull, to lick my clit during intercourse even to clean up Bull load, but it’s not wanted to suck Bull s penis.

    The first couple was too harsh, then I found a nice, I enjoyed fucking with him but he insisted that my husband suck his big penis. My husband didn’t want it and after one rude incident, my husband no longer wanted to participate. Not long after that the Bull is no longer wanted any relationship with me.

    My observation is that the Bulls are bisexual, and that an important role for his plays the husband humiliation. I was depressed for a while, then my husband suggested that I find boyfriend.

    I found a nice young guy with big penis In the beginning, we fucked alone. He recently agreed to from time to time my husband participate, to lick my vagina and clit.

  3. Having been both a cuckold and a bull for 25 years I know what you say is true. So many guys who post never met a real cuckold and think cuckolding is like you see in porn. As you said, they think what man would would not want a free shot at their wife even if they have to follow rules. In their fantasy they only experience arousal and never jealousy since it is a fantasy after all and what you are watching is not your wife kissing and screaming in bed.

    I have only allowed one cuck to watch and he freaked out within a few minutes when he saw his wife was not behaving as he thought. He expected that she would just lay there passively and accept whatever the bull wanted. After that no more husbands watching and it was much better that way as most wives feel inhibited with their husbands there and then it feels like they are just doing it to please their husbands like faking an orgasm.

    Cucks also need to know that the majority of guys do no ejaculate buckets like you see in porn. By the time my cuckoldress got home there was just a faint taste of semen, if any, left. She ran into guys who could not get erect, premature ejaculators, drug addicts or drunks, smelly, uneducated, too dominant, small cocks, etc.. In the cuckold stories the wife just goes out and every man she meets is hung and can go all night. Nope, those kind of guys usually end up working in porn.

    Then there are the bulls who think that your wife is now their girlfriend and as we found out, despite trying to hide our real identities, this guy looked in my cuckoldress’s pocketbook and got her name and address off of her driver’s license. I came home and he was waiting outside for her to return from her job.

    Then my friends found out because she just had to have sex with one of them and then all of them. They started to treat me differently and talked trash about me behind my back, etc., I ended up kicking my girlfriend out and moving to another State. When I got married my wife tried cuckolding me once and came home with bruises on her body. The bull was a married swinger so we thought he would be a good choice but he was into rough sex and treated my wife like a piece of meat.

    After that my wife only played with girls and that gave me an opportunity to cuckold their husbands. Although we know a few couples who made it work, none made it work into their old age. They are all divorced. As my wife says, if you have sex with enough guy you will find someone you love more than your husband. Most of the wives I was with pretended to love their husbands because they had a stable home life with a man who made good money and was a good father plus allowed her freedom to have sex with others. So they told him what he wanted to hear. Felt sorry for those types.

    I cucked a man from his first date and through 25 years of marriage. I would keep his wife with me for weeks. Once I got him to fly with his wife to meet me on vacation and then fly back home only to return to pick her up in two weeks. The guy was very submissive and divorced from his first cuckoldress so he knew how fragile a cuckold marriage could be and was very obedient.

    We never had luck in finding anyone online. Just time wasters and guys looking for erotic details and nude pics. Several no shows for the meet and greets. We were successful after we met some friends who were swingers and they introduced us to other couples where the husband or wife was free to date others. I never had sex with a woman that I did not know for awhile. Why? It only too one time to get caught for a woman who said her husband was into cuckolding when he was not, to make me more cautious. I knew the cuck of 25 years. We even socialized with him. The weird part was that he never once acknowledged that I was having sex with his wife even though she was with me almost as much as she was with him.

    1. Thanks for the feedback! I think it’s important for people to realize that there is almost always a difference between fantasy and reality and that you need to be prepared for that. That being said, it can still be a wonderful experience to add cuckolding to a marriage.

  4. The role of the Bull is to replace me there where I am bad, and that is the size of the penis and fucking. He is not a better man than me, he’s just a better fucker. A good fuck is just one aspect of a man.
    A tendency to Bull, put in all spheres of life and in my marital bed is what I don’t like.
    I know that most women make a bond with a man who fucks them, but there has to be a balance and strictly divided roles. Bull’s fuck my wife, and that his role in my marriage. Nothing more, than that.

  5. A very thoughtful and well put together article. I have become an experienced bull during the course of the last 15 years and now have an excellent understanding of the dynamics of these sorts of relationships. I am also too well aware of the difficulty for couples in finding the right guy. Of course, there is also a knock-on problem for people like myself to get through to the right couples because there is a huge problem with sorting the wheat from the chaff and many couples just give up trying.

    As you note, there is no difficulty at all in finding a whole crowd of men who will say they are ready willing and able to step forward to fuck the cuckold’s wife. The real problems lie in whittling them down. Some are self-selecting for deletion, because their initial approach is so obviously awful. Far too many men are attracted by the idea of just having sex with another bloke’s wife and are not at all interested in the cuckold relationship as a whole, which is very much a tripartite one. Lots of men are just time-wasting fantasists too and will never show. Sadly, there are also lots of wannabe cuckolds who make it difficult for bulls too, because they think it will be possible to introduce the bull to the wife and he will be able to seduce her without the wannabe cuckold ever having mentioned his fantasy to his wife.

    When chatting to a potential bull, it is critical to look out for signs that he understands that this is a three-way relationship, even if the cuckold husband is not intending to be present when the sex takes place. It is vital that the bull understands this dynamic and cares about it. The cuckold husband may not have many needs (depending upon the scenario), but he is still a player and his expectations and fantasies need to be properly catered for. Of course, if he is to be present and/or participating in some way then it is even more important that the bull cares about what his needs/expectations are and ensures that they are met. Some well targeted questions to the bull in the early stages will usually flush out those who have not thought about and probably don’t care about this side of the equation.

    Someone who cares about getting the relationship right will usually be happy to meet socially first to make sure that everyone is on the same page. Most couples I have played with have ultimately not taken up my offer to have a separate meet first, but this is because they have been able to form a good impression of me from chatting by email and/or by phone before we meet, but I have met a few couples socially first to put their minds at ease and to check that the chemistry is there for everyone.

    Being a part-time professional photographer, I often offer a wannabe cuckold couple the opportunity to have a photoshoot with me first, which can just be a very ordinary, very vanilla portrait shoot with no other agenda. It has proven to be a great way to break the ice as I am good at putting people at their ease and I never seek to push or cajole anyone into doing anything they are not 100% comfortable with doing.

    I suppose my biggest tip for couples is not to rush into anything. Take time to choose the right man and always give a lot of weight to previous experience.

    1. Nice chat, very down to earth. We are a married couple living in FL, 36 me, 38 husband. It is true it is difficult to meet a man that work with a couple. I really like the way you explain the situations with a bull. My English is not very good sorry. May I ask where are you located? Thanks.

  6. Maintaining ordinary marriage is art. Having a good and stable cuckold marriage is top-notch art. The bull’s selection is very important. I have three children and I’m a housewife. I am satisfied with my husband in all aspects except in fucking. He’s a great husband and father. Two things that are very important to me at bull, that discretion and to bull respect wife and husband.
    Many bulls do not respect husbands. I read a lot of sites that wrote bulls. Many say that the more they humiliate husband, the hot woman will be more attached to them. That’s right, I myself have fallen into that trap at the beginning of a cuckold marriage. I was close to divorce for that. If a wife wants a stable marriage and a lover, then she must take care of her husband’s feelings. The humiliation of a husband must have boundaries. For each husband they are different, as well as for each wife.
    Often a divorce comes when a woman ceases to love a husband which agrees to a lot of humiliation. My husband told me, humiliation that another man fucking me and that he sucks bulls penis is quite enough.
    For my husband and me, house and marriage bed is holy places reserved only for wife and husband.
    A bulls often encourages a hot woman to break off any form of sexual contact with her husband. That’s bad. Any bull’s influence to relationship between wife and husband is bad.

  7. I’m a versatile, submissive leaning man who’s been with the same woman for 15 years. My wife was never really into this lifestyle and I was the one who pushed for it as I really explored my submissive side and came to prefer it. Eventually she agreed to try it out. The issues for us were multi layered. First, in the real world, I’m an alpha male. I’m physically imposing to most and have always carried a “take no crap” attitude. I consider myself first and foremost a protector of both my immediate and extended family. This in itself creates/ed a conflict within myself and unbeknownst to me at first, within her as well. She eventually admitted she felt as if I didn’t value her and/or it was some plot to justify cheating myself. Neither was true but this is an important thing to hammer out and establish an understanding before hand because it almost ended our relationship. As much as this lifestyle turns me on, I value our relationship a whole lot more. Eventually, this problem and lack of foresight reared its ugly head when she almost left me for a guy she was banging. See, because of my inner conflict, I felt it best to not be present during her encounters for fear that I may freak out if he said the wrong thing or acted inappropriately. This unfortunately reinforced her qualms because she interpreted it as further proof I didn’t value her. On top of this, the guy had no idea our kink and just thought she was unhappy and available. Which speaks to points mentioned above, the bull needs to know what’s going on and ground rules and expectations need to be set. Our love is strong and we weathered the storm this all created and decided if/when we do this again that he will know, I will be there and we must be very selective in who we play with because my original conflicts haven’t changed, and her concerns need to be alleviated. This makes finding the “right guy” paramount for both of us and every bit as challenging. She definitely prefers me as the submissive but isn’t really into cuckolding me but is still open to it. I also prefer being submissive but I cant separate being submissive from ultimately being a cuckold. So patience and understanding are key for all involved. Good luck to everyone and thanks for the great article.

  8. It is hard to find a bull, which will not interfere with marriage. My wife and I never bring bulls to our home. Sex is always in a motel or hotel. My wife is an extremely clitoral woman. He loves a big penis, but it’s fucking, without clitoris licking, cannot lead her to an orgasm. Some bulls do not like it when I lick her clitoris during sex.
    I’m a real Sissy girl with small tits and small limp clit. My role is everything that my wife does not like to do, that I do it. It’s always sucking penis, and anal sex. I always suck bull’s penis to be like a rock for her.
    If a bull wants anal sex, when he satisfied, my wife, he fuck my sissy vagina usually very hard. If the bull is not satisfied, when my wife had a lot of orgasms and she will not more sex than i suck him to cum or he fuck me.

  9. Is there a way that a bull can discreetly advertise this fact when out and about? e.g., when in a bar or club. One that hotwives or cucks, or people otherwise involved in the lifestyle will recognise. I know that hotwives often use things to show off, but it could also just be coincidence.

  10. My wife dominated me and prepared me to be a willing cuckold. Our first venture was when she picked up a guy in the Fredericton motor inn and fucked in his room while i waited outside the door. It was supposed to be a one time thing but soon after we went to a local club and she left with a young guy. They fucked in my van while I watched , he made sure she was sore and sent me a message. Soon she fed me cum from her fingers then forced me to clean her after her young pal filled her. Next guy she had me with them and had me suck my first cock and lick her while they fucked. Eventually I became a willing cocksucker and went on to finding men for her. I learned that some sites are good and it pays to ask the right questions. I had to tell prospective men that I would be servicing them and this worked well to weed out guys. She is only 5ft 1 but has had many huge cocks and has had steady guys. She liked men who are fun and also good fuckers. Having the husband suck cock and clean makes it easier for everyone since all are invested. Think hard about what you want and ask questions and for the cuckold once you accept her fucking other men you lose any control. There is more to cucking than sex .

  11. This was a wonderful, mature, well thought out article with excellent advice. I love everything about my husband, except his sexual performance. He’s a wonderful husband who is caring and gentle, but he leaves me sexually frustrated. He has a low sex drive, a small penis, and he cums really fast. We sort of backed into cuckolding when we met another couple while on vacation. After getting to know them, they openly talked about their “arrangement”. This was all new to me. It turns out they live fairly close to me, and after thinking a lot about the situation, I asked the woman for some details on the guys she sees. She gave me the contact info for one of her “boyfriends”. I brought the whole thing up with my husband, who, to make a long story short, agreed to me contacting him. I met with the guy at a coffee shop without my husband, and I was immediately attracted to him. My husband has a nice body, but this guy was really built. We had him over a few times for dinner just to get to know him, and all three of us felt comfortable with each other. Then the big night came, and OMG!! He was everything sexually my husband wasn’t. Hubby stayed in another room, which I think was best. With my husband gone, I felt really free to explore this new sex toy. Great body, tight ass, nice abs, beautiful fat dick, it was all there. He could fuck all night and we did. This was the first time in my life I was sexually fulfilled by a man. The couple we had met on vacation referred other “pre-screened” men to me, and they have all been outstanding. Once in a while hubby watches and likes it, but most of the time he isn’t present and just likes me to explain in detail what happened. However, I do know that sometimes he likes to listen at the door to my sexual vocals, particularly when I orgasm. We usually fuck after I give him the details, so I know it arouses him. This whole situation has closed a huge hole in our marriage, and it’s worked out great for both of us. The humiliation aspect isn’t part of what we do, but hubby does like it when I describe how big the guys cock was, how it was bigger than his, how it filled me up, and how I had multiple orgasms. My husband knows that he doesn’t sexually fulfill me, and he told me that this arrangement relieves him from a lot of the worry that he wasn’t able to give me what I needed. Now, I’m very happy too, and very sexually fulfilled.

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